Waiting Day 10

Well, my mixing supplies that I ordered yesterday (I cannot believe I forgot them) shipped out of ROMULUS, MI so I would imagine they will be here Monday or Tuesday. I guess I will plan on starting back up on Saturday, so I can load properly on Saturday and Sunday. I'll have to see how the week goes at the new job.

My daughter and I went and ate sushi tonight. I have vowed that it will be the last time until my HCG journey is complete. I am going to try to stay out of there because I know I overeat when I go (and it's expensive!!)

Anyway, last night I went to the mall and bought a top to wear on my first day. I also found this tank top shaper thing that actually makes me look decent in it! It very well may save some of my clothes that I wouldn't be caught dead wearing. I may be able to wear them now. We'll see.

Well I had better get going...I'm trying to complete all of next weeks Sociology work so I don't have to worry about school next week. At least that class....I may have a Psychology quiz next week but it will be no biggie.

Waiting Day 9 - 237.2 Argh!

Well, I have been eating good the past few days. When I say good, I mean bad. My daughters and I ate at Olive Garden last night and yea....we stuffed ourselves. But no matter....

....according to my tracking number, they tried to deliver my HCG yesterday! It says they left a notice, but I must have missed it! I'm going to go look for it. And I just realized that I forgot to order a mixing kit! I'm going to check with the medical supply store and see if I can get what I need though.

More good news, I finally got word that I passed my background check and I am clear to start work on Monday. :D Finally! 15 months without a job is just not cool!

EDIT: I only found one place that would sell me the bacteriostatic water without a script, the mixing and insulin needles, but they didn't know where to get sterile vials...and they were ridiculously expensive. Also, I have 5 vials of 2000ui HCG in my order. I was thinking I could mix a vial at a time to get maximum potency (each vial will last like 11-12 days)....well, the pharmacist told me that once I take water out of the bacteriostatic water vial, I need to toss it....as it becomes contaminated once you pierce into it. If this is true then why do all these mixing kits only come with one vial? Ugh! BTW, I ordered THIS.

Waiting Day 8 - No weigh...oops.

I had to take all 3 kiddos to the dentist today and we got bad news on all. My 18 year old had to have 12 teeth re-sealed because when she got her braces removed, the sealants somehow got screwed up (or something) and she has 4 cavities, my 16 year old had to have 11 teeth resealed and has 3 cavities AND needs a night guard because he apparently grinds his teeth (hence why he had to have his teeth resealed) and my 12 year old only had to have 1 tooth resealed but she also had 4 cavities on her adult molars. The dentist said she has tiny cavities on a couple baby teeth but they are about to fall out. She has 4 loose teeth right now! Ugh! Also, he said we couldn't fit her for braces for at least another year. She has the dental development for an 8 year old, he said. 


Some good news...my HCG had cleared customs as of 5:47am this morning, so it's only a matter of time before I can get going on this journey again. I'm looking forward to it!

Waiting Day 7 - 236.7! OMG!

Seems like I gained, no? lol

Well, I think it may be because I am retaining water?

The kids and I spend ALL day at Six Flags Over Texas...and I didn't over eat, as all I had was Diet Cokes and a pretzel. We stoped at Buffalo Wild Wings on the way home too, as it was all that was open. But whatever, we all had a blast and it was worth it! Oh and I am a bit sunburned too. :P

Image via Wikipedia

Oh yea...and my shipment has been shipped out and is now waiting in customs!!! :D

Waiting Day 5 - Forgot to Weigh this Morning....Again!

Let's see...what did I accomplish today?

I finished alot of schoolwork today and it took hours.

I returned a new laptop that I bought from Walmart. (It didn't run the programs that I wanted it to).

I drove out and checked on my grandparents.

I went and grabbed a Schlotzsky's sandwich to go and I now know I don't like them.

I am now at home watching Persons Unknown.

I plan to go to bed soon, as my baby (my 12 yr old) is finally coming home tomorrow, after being gone all summer.

Why do I feel like I haven't done much today?

Come on HCG. Get here already.

Waiting Day 4 - 235.4

I have decided to TRY and continue on as a full time student AND work full time. This would mean working 8-5, having 1 1/2 hour commute time, taking 2 online classes, one night class (1 night a week) and a Saturday morning class. I'm wondering....can I do it? I hope so because I am all registered for fall classes now. LOL!

Anyway....still waiting on the HCG. Ugh....

Waiting Day 3 - Forgot to Weigh this Morning.

Last I heard my HCG order was dispensing. Haven't heard a peep since then and I haven't recieved a tracking number. Hmmm....oh well.

I forgot to weigh this morning. My daughter had court for a running a stop sign ticket and we were in a rush. Ticket got dismissed though so that was good.

Not much else to report...other than I went out and test drove a 2010 Nissan Cube today. VERY cool and cute little car.

Image via Wikipedia

Definitely a future possibility. :)

Waiting Day 2 - 235.4 (+.4)

I really hope I'm just gaining what I lost and the upward trend will stop. I haven't been eating any junk, except 2 bite sized York peppermint patties. I guess I did eat alot of cheese yesterday, as I made my King Ranch casserole yesterday...but oh well, I'm not stressing about it.

Oops, I thought I had more time! I'm about to leave to go take my drug/alchohol screen for my new job and then do all the paperwork/insurance papers. So I gotta go! :D

Ta-ta for now!

Waiting Day 1 - 235 (+2.4)

Watching the Unemployment Benefits vote on CSPAN right now. I am hoping and praying they pass this thing. I lost my benefits on June 19th and could really use a reinstatement of my benefits until August 2 when I start my job. Ugh...senators are so stupid. EDIT: It FINALLY passed!!! Whoo-Hooo!

Anyway...I gained 2.4 pounds...probably had something to do with the 2am run to IHOP at my daughter insistence. Ain't nothing better than migas in the morning. (eggs, tomatoes, jalapeños, onions, tortilla strips  scrambled together and served with hashbrowns (didn't eat most of them) and corn tortillas. Whatever...

My HCG is in "dispensing"! :D

R1P2D7 - 232.6 (-1) I'm done.

Yes, I lost 1 pound. But after thinking about it, I should have been down 7-10 pounds by now. So, I'm moving on to a better strategy.

I am placing my order for the real stuff from AllDayChemist.com right now.

I am ordering 5 vials of 2000ui Corion so that I can mix often and don't have potency issues. I am planning on doing the injections...to make it simple.

I am still going to try and eat better until I get my shipment. But yea....

Heck, I may still drop a few pounds while I am waiting for my shipment, who knows.

I plan to still blog while I'm waiting though...it gives me an odd sense of release to yack about my day...and I will try to post what I eat, as well...just so I have a record of what I have been eating while I'm waiting.

So no fake HCG for me today...I wish I was hungry. I need a Coke Zero. :P

TODAY's MENU

1 Hamburger with everything (no cheese or mayo)
1 handful of tater-tots (ARGH!!!)
1 diet coke

Boy...what a kick off to eating right. I took my son and his friend's to the burger place for "payment" for mowing my 1.5 acres and yea...I caved. Dumb part was...I wasn't even hungry. Oh well...

R1P2D6 - 232 (-0) Old Scale/233.6 (+1.6) New Scale

Well...this sucks.

Everything would have been fine if I would have shown the slightest loss today but no...not only did I not lose, I gained 1.6 on a technicality...since my new scale registers more than my old one.

All of the headache, feeling sluggish and not being able to concentrate on my schoolwork is just not worth not losing anything.

I think that I am going to stay on it one more day...if no loss tomorrow, I'm tossing this HCG diet out the window and chalking it up to another diet that just doesn't work for me. I'm not convinced that homeopathic HCG even works the same as HCG supposedly does anyway and not sure, if I was losing, if I would be losing fat or muscle.

I don't know...I tried this because I knew if I was seeing results...I would stick with it...but I'm not seeing anything.

TODAY'S MENU

Breakfast:
Nothing

Lunch:
100g Tilapia with lemon pepper
200g sliced tomato

Dinner:
100g (or less?) of Cod with lemon pepper (fish shrunk up very small)
200g tomato
1 apple
1 melba toast

Snack:

1 orange

1 melba toast

Not one cheat...not one...

R1P2D5 - 232 (-0) - *pout

Well, the good news is my headache went away and I haven't felt hungry.

The bad news is I am already getting bored with the food. I am not missing the soda at all, which is surprising, but I find myself craving milk or yogurt...and I didn't have a loss this morning when I weighed, even though I had a little cheat late last night, which on any other diet wouldn't have been a cheat at all. I ate 3 slices of cucumbers in vinegar and maybe 10 sunflower seeds. Whoopee.

And the next depressing piece of news is: I noticed that my old Denise Austin digital scale only measures in .5 increments so I decided to get a new one. I bought a very snazzy Healthometer scale that measures weight, body fat composition, BMI, bone mass and body hydration. Well, I set it all up with my age, height, sex and goal weight and then I did a test weigh...and then I weighed on my old scale. The new scale measured 1 pound MORE than the old one. Ugh!!! Anyway, I am going to start posting my body fat composition with my weight, just as a way to track it. It read like 55.1% a few minutes ago...which is ridiculous. So anyway...whatever I weigh tomorrow, it will look like a gain, due to the new scale registering 1 pound more. :(

I'm so depressed.

TODAY'S MENU

Breakfast:
Pft...

Lunch:
100g Tilapia with lemon pepper (not bad!)
200g tomato
1 orange
1 melba toast

Dinner:
100-120g chicken with lemon pepper (I got the 2 halves mixed up)
200g cucumbers and onion in vinegar with salt and pepper
1 small artichoke heart (cheat!)
1 melba toast

Snack:
1 green apple

R1P2D4 - 232 (-4.5) - Headache!

I went to bed last night with a headache and woke up with one. I took my HCG this morning and literally laid in bed, in my dark, quiet room, until 1pm. I never fell back asleep. I got up made my lunch, took more HCG and still felt the same, adding nausea to the mix. A couple hours later I ate some strawberries and a melba toast, that I didn't eat with lunch...my headache started to get a little better. It's was bad...I took Advil but all I want to do is lie in bed. What is going on? Is it from not drinking soda? Not having carbs? Ugh...it sucks.

But when I weighed this morning I was down 4.5 pounds from yesterday!!! So I guess I'll take a headache day.

Anyway...I'm gonna cut this short. I have some studying to get through and then I expect that I'll be going to bed early, as well. TTYL!

TODAY'S MENU


Breakfast:
Nada

Lunch:
100g of Tuna (water packed)
200g of lettuce/spinach mix, tomato and red radishes with lemon

Snack:
200g strawberries
1 melba toast

Dinner:
100g grilled chicken with lemon pepper and habanero sauce
200g sliced tomato with salt and pepper
1 green apple
1 melba toast

R1P2D3 - 236.5 (-1.5) - First day of VLCD

I knew I didn't do as well on loading on day 2. I was -1.5 lbs this morning. Oh well...

So, I just finished my dinner on this first day of the VLCD. I survived! In my opinion, I have done very well today, except I didn't take my 1st dose of the HCG (or whatever it is) until right before lunch. I also took a Women's One a Day today, I figure I might as well.

I did get a little hungry right before dinner...nothing gnawing, just my body telling me that I may want to think about eating. I was surprised about the amount of food I had when I got my lunch ready, as it doesn't seem like much on paper. I really didn't want to finish my apple...lol...but I was ready for dinner 4 hours later.

And now, after I finished eating dinner...I can't figure out if I feel hungry or not...but I definitely feel something, maybe a little hungry? It may not have helped that I watched Man vs. Food while I ate....haha! Also, I have a bit of a headache that started a few minutes ago....I'm thinking it could be from NO SODA. I haven't had one all day....THAT is an accomplishment.

Also, I have been a bit sleepy today, so I'm thinking about going to bed early so I can start to get on a work schedule again.



MENU TODAY

Breakfast:
Slept through it.

Lunch:
100g grilled chicken breast with lemon pepper
200g of sliced tomato
1 green apple
1 melba toast

Dinner:
100g grilled chicken breast with lemon pepper
200g of lettuce/spinach mix, tomato and red radishes with lemon juice

Snack:
1 green apple
1 melba toast

R1P2D2 - 238 (+3) - Loading Sux!

I don't think I did as well loading as I did yesterday.

I went to a chinese/japanese buffet for lunch, but being such a sushi addict...I mostly ate sushi, but I did stick to the salmon, rainbow and avocado rolls, so every roll had avocado in it...I ate a couple cream cheese wonton things too. I tried an egg roll, but it was nasty and I spit it out in the most lady-like way I could muster.

For dinner, I ate a cheap Totino's pepperoni pizza...and I forced down 8 (yes, 8) Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, for an extra 48g of fat, as well. I drank water but I had 2 or 3 Coke Zeros. I told my son that as of now, he can have the rest of them. I do plan on polishing off the rest of the ice cream that is in the freezer, as soon as I'm done writing this too...

Come to think of it...I'm kinda worried that I didn't load enough today and yesterday....ugh...maybe I'll eat some chocolate donuts after the ice cream (bleh!)

Oh and I went shopping and got all my good healthy food. I found some fresh chicken breasts at Wal-Mart that are individually packaged and they are 3.5 ounces raw! I also got some frozen Tilipia and Cod that are also individually packaged in 3.5-4 ounces packages. I got all my veggies and after 20 minutes, I FINALLY found the melba toast! Ugh...that was a pain. All I know is my grocery cart never looked so good and healthy...I had no junk. My 16 yr old son was stunned! I also got a food scale and a little pink George Foreman grill ($15!). I'm ready!

NON-SCALE VICTORY:
I did get some utterly FANTASTIC news today, which probably helping in me forgetting about loading for awhile....I GOT A JOB OFFER LETTER TODAY!!!!!! Why is this THAT exciting? Because I have been unemployed for almost 15 months!!!! I have been SOOOOO READY to get out of the house and work again!!!! Whoo-Hooo!!! Cool thing about it? I'm going to be designing explosives!!! Muahaha!!! After moving to Waco, I never thought I would be able to find a job "doing what I do"...which is a Mechanical Designer...I figured I would have to settle for just any job I could get and just go to school. But now...I'm going to finish the summer semester online...and go back to work!!! Momma wants a new car and some new furniture!!! :D I'm so happy!!! LOL!

R1P2D1 - 235 (Starting Weight) - I feel...

...so gross.

I got up at 10 am this morning and weighed myself. 235 on the dot. No surprise. Then I took my first dose of drops and....fell back asleep! I woke up about 1pm and forced myself to eat. I had FOUR cherry toaster strudels (760 calories, 36g of fat). To this I added a 8 oz. glass of 2% milk too. I was actually puking a little in my mouth after this...and I have eating this exact same thing for a late night snack. Weird.

Anyway, I took my 2nd dose of drops at 2pm, grabbed a bottle of water and took off to my school. The second summer semester starts tomorrow and I had to buy my books for my classes. So I was done about 4pm and got to worrying that I haven't eaten enough today (remember, I kinda started my day at 1pm). I decided to stop and eat something.

I went to Chili's and first of all, I have to comment on how many overweight women were in there, eating alone, all with multiple plates in front of them. That just boggled my mind...but it made me think of my mom and how she used to go out to eat alone. I hardly EVER will go out alone, today was my first time in years....but I didn't realize lots of other people do it. It made me feel like we should all sit at one big table together. Weird thought....

Anyway...I ordered an order of cheese sticks (1060 calories, 86g fat) and a "Handmade" Avocado Burger (1500 calories, 75g fat roughly) that I have been seeing all over the television. Let me tell you.... I was SO disappointed in that burger. It was greasy, the lettuce was wilted and the tomato wasn't ripe enough....but I ate the whole thing and the order of 7 cheese sticks with marinara...but I just couldn't touch the fries. Oh yea and I drank Coke Zero....Waco water is like Mexico water...you can't drink it....so hence the soda. When I got to my car, that was out in the heat....I thought I was gonna just pass out. I was SO stuffed and I felt like I just wanted all that food out of me...ugh!

I came right home...and now I am writing this in the nice cool AC and I feel a bit better, just stuffed and sleepy (due to eating too much).

I just took my 6pm dose...I figured I would start off with 4 drops at 10am, 2pm, 6pm and 10pm. So yea...I'm probably not going to eat anything again until at least 8pm. Don't worry...I usually go to sleep around 3-4am. I don't plan on eating after midnight.

You know? I was thinking about doing 3 load days....but I'm just gonna stick with two. I feel like I have grease running through my veins at the moment and I'm ready to get the VLCD underway.

BTW...is this real HCG?? CHEAP HCG SUPPLIES
That's for 2 vials and there is a 43 day mixing kit they sell as well. Isn't there a cheaper way to get the mixing kit? And don't 2 vials last 80 days? Ugh....

I'm still confused as to how the homeopathic stuff works....but I'd like to get some real stuff next time.

OK, I'm off for now...need to try and stay awake. My stomach is hard and I feel pregnant. LOL, I just weighed and I am up 2.5 from this morning (I know that's meaningless, but whatever, haha)

ADDED @ 12:26am CST: Added to what I have eaten, I've had about a half a pint of Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream (340 calories, 18g fat) to what I have eaten and a Mrs. Baird's cherry pie (200 cal, 10g), handful of sunflower seeds (roughly 190 cals and 15g fat) and 4 slices of swiss (280 cal and 20g fat). I have also downed at least 5 - 20 ounce bottles of water today...maybe 5. Enough to have me peeing constantly (annoying).

I am playing with the idea of ordering some real HCG and just switching to it when it arrives. If what I am taking is homeopathic...would it really matter if I did 2 weeks on this stuff and then 43 days of real stuff (thinking about injections)? Hmmm.....

My HCG came in!

The HCG is here and I am starting the drops in the morning! I think I probably have enough "junk" here to eat for my load days...and besides, I need it out of the house, right? The directions say to take 4 drops 4X a day...so I'm going to start with that. My friend's daughter took 6 drops 6X a day of the same stuff and she lost 35, so I'll just wait and see how I feel.

OK, let's see...I have toaster strudels, frozen burritos, frozen pizzas, soft batch cookies, cherry pies, chocolate donuts, orange cinnamon rolls, green olives and eggs. Are these foods fatty enough? I thought about going out and getting a big ol' burger with avocado on top at some point....and I also need a sushi bar trip, to hold me off too....I'm kinda nervous about the loading thing. My appetite has already seemed to go down while I was waiting on the HCG to arrive...how weird is that?

Hmmm....I'm hungry. All I have had today was movie popcorm slathered in butter flavored whatever-it-is. BTW, I saw Robin Hood at the dollar theater today...LOVED it! I wish I would have gotten some Milk Duds.... FOCUS, MAGGIE! OK...

Oh yea...and I have a ton of Coke Zero. Can I drink Coke Zero? Please, oh mighty Gods of HCG? I know the answer is probably no....but PLEASE?!?!?! OMG, it really didn't dawn on me that I would have NO soda. I don't drink coffee or tea...ever. It was ingrained in me when I was little that coffee and tea were both "dirty water". My step-mom was such an idiot. But even so, I can't even force myself to drink either one...especially without sugar and tons of it.

Oh no... jalapeños. Jalapeños. Are. Not. On. The. List. *BAWL!!!!!! OK..I'm over it. *sniffle

Anyway....I have made my grocery list for the 500 calorie diet.

• a scale to weigh food
• liquid b-12
• women's multi-vitamin
• chicken
• white fish (no salmon, tuna or herring)
• shrimp
• baby spinach
• lettuce
• tomatoes
• celery
• onions
• red radishes
• cucumbers
• breadsticks (grissino) or melba toasts
• apples
• oranges
• strawberries
• lemon
• vinegar
• stevia sweetener
• dill
• black pepper

I really hope I'm not forgetting anything blatantly obvious but this is all I can think of right now. 

And I am going to take my measurements tonight...as I know I am going to be in no mood to do them in the morning. I am not a morning person...but I'm going to get up and take my drops, first thing!

This is going to be one hell of a month. Here's to HCG!

Great, as if I wasn't worried enough....

I have always been one of those people who over-research things. Unfortunately, I usually do most of the research AFTER it's too late. I buy a car and THEN go get it checked out by a mechanic. I order something electronic and only after it comes in the mail, do I see if it will accomplish what I want to do with it. Seems my stupidity may have just bitten me again...

As you know, I ordered my HCG from Celeste HCG and have been anxiously awaiting it's delivery. While I have been waiting I have been doing research to get myself "ready" for this journey and get as much information as I can about the protocol. I even signed up for Yahoo group called HcgDieters.

Well, in that group...they bash the drops from Celeste. They say they lose potency very fast and the dosing instructions are unclear. They say they are way over priced. I ordered 60 days worth for me and a friend...and now I'm worried they won't even last the 30 days that we'll be on them. They talk bad about the website, which in my opinion, looks better than alot of others I have seen. And on Celeste's site, they say that the drops are real HCG but some of the people on the Yahoo group say they are homeopathic (I'm confused about all that homeopathic vs. real).

Anyway...so now I'm stuck wondering if we wasted $81, when we could barely afford to spend it. Where is the best place to get HCG? I would rather stick to sublingual, but I want real HCG. Man, I should have never joined that Yahoo group.

And if that weren't bad enough...it seems that my 7 year old laptop has finally overheated for it's last time. I was just about to begin writing this post when it just shut off and now it won't turn back on....so no more blogging from my bedroom, I guess :(

PS - I renamed the blog. The other title was a bit long. I think this one will do nicely. :D

A little disappointed...

My HCG didn't make it in today...so I guess I'll see it on Monday. In a way, I can't wait to get started...and in another way, I really just have no idea what I'm going to eat. I guess I should be getting a grocery list started and stock up.

Hmmm, come to think of it, I should have thought about that before I went to Walmart a little while ago. And of course, I haven't eaten a thing all day so I went to the store STARVING. Bad idea! I spent $60 on groceries....and as I was unloading...I realized I bought mostly crap. I bought eggs, salsa, smoked turkey, sliced swiss and wheat bread...not too bad, right? But then I also found the Soft Batch chocolate chip cookies, Pringles chips, Mrs. Baird's cherry pies and chocolate donuts. Oh and don't forget the 20 Patio frozen burritos and the 1/2 gallon of Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream. Is this all stuff I can eat while loading? I hope so...because I look at it all and I think I may have more of a problem with food than I realize. *sigh... re-reading that really embarrasses me.

My eating habits are horrible. I'm unemployed at the moment so I don't work. I usually don't eat anything until about 6 or 7pm. Then, I will eat something resembling a dinner type meal...but definitely not a dinner type meal. I am partial to Kraft Spaghetti Dinner and Kraft Egg Noodle Chicken Dinner. I grew up eating these with my mother, so I guess there is a little comfort in eating them. Both come in a box like Mac and Cheese. Heck, they don't even sell the Egg Noodle Dinner in stores anymore. I bought a few cases from Amazon a few months ago and I only have 4-5 boxes left, I think. I haven't ordered more. I believe that each box is 1000 calories prepared, if I remember right. Each box is meant to be 3-4 servings...but I eat the whole box as a meal. Then a few hours later I will eat a whole pint of ice cream...and then maybe, I may eat some cookies or other junk, but not always.

If you're wondering, yes, my kids eat like crap too. The two youngest are off visiting family for the summer though...but when they're here, they eat cereal for breakfast and maybe sandwiches for lunch...and usually for dinner, I take them out. On the off chance they eat at home, they eat junk, like TV dinners, burritos or pot pies. I never have fruit and vegetables in my kitchen. This is something I want to change. I want the kids to learn how to eat. Pathetic thing is, I KNOW HOW (I even took a nutrition class in college) but I have yet to just do it.

I was brought up eating like this...and I have brought up my kids the same way, without meaning to. My 18 yr old could probably stand to lose 10 and my 12 yr old is skinny as a rail...but my son is 16 and he at 6'2", he weighs in at 265 pounds. He inherited his size from his dad but I played a part in alot of the excess. I am worried about him. I would like to see him at about 220. I don't even know what he is "supposed" to weigh though. I should look that up.

So anyway, believe it or not, I don't even buy soda and sweets for the kids...all that sweet crap is for me. Not eating on a schedule and eating processed meals is what my kids suffer from.

Man, the more I write the more I realize....I have a long way to go. I'm a mess.

Come on HCG....get here already!

Well, I've gone and done it...

I bit the bullet. I placed my order late last night.

I ordered 4 ounces of sublingual HCG from Celeste HCG which is apparently 60 days worth. It cost me $81, so about $20 an ounce. It comes pre-mixed and ready to go.

I just checked on the order and it has already been picked up and shipped out of the USPS sort facility in Gainesville, Florida. I would guess, since it is coming in Priority Mail, that it might make it here tomorrow...*wishful thinking...or Monday.

Now I guess I am in the phase of research. I am trying to get together all the information that I can so that I can make a good strong start on this diet. You know what they say....if something sounds too good to be true, then it probably is...but it's worth a shot.

I'm nervous...should I be?